Take a peek...

2012-01-27T12:37:00.002-07:00

I think I love that stained old bear as much as she does...okay maybe not as much.

2012-01-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

Same ol' same ol' around here.

Taking and trying to get Sammy to all her therapies and school.

Learning how to manage and work with Sammy through her struggles.

Really enjoying the brief moments when things seem effortless.

I love...

2012-01-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

her.

Lately via instagram...

2012-01-19T17:53:00.003-07:00

*Hanging out and crafting day with a dear friend

*Making scalloped lanterns

*A new lovely little handmade coat (My friend is a talented seamstress)

*Sammy enjoying her own sweet face

*Lots of bike rides

*Enjoying quality daddy and daughter time

*A successful week of getting Sammy to all of her therapies and to school, woot!

p.s Lately my iphone makes me lazy about using my camera, it's just so convenient to snap pictures with it!

A no school day means...

2012-01-16T12:57:00.000-07:00

Amusement park fun and photo booth pictures.

It's a lot of work to take the lil' one to busy public places but it's totally worth it.

She is totally worth it.

Lately via instagram...

2012-01-15T12:30:00.002-07:00

Play-doh and cookie cutters

Music therapy

Playing at the park

Tiny grocery cart and shopper

Silly faces

Bike rides

Bubble baths

Teddy bear cuddles

Carousel rides

Life is good...

Even lil' ones enjoy some alone time...

2012-01-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

She's four so I still check in on her while she's having some "alone time" but I'm never far away. I think that's the best kind of alone time. Enjoying the act of being alone but knowing that you're not really alone. Ya dig?

Alone time reminds me of this => beautiful video.

2012-01-08T16:00:00.006-07:00

The weather in Arizona has been beautiful so we spent the weekend outdoors enjoying fresh air, sunshine, and being together. I ordered a pretend felt campfire from Etsy and it is everything I hoped for and more. The campfire came with realistic felt smores, sticks, and marshmallows. Sammy has enjoyed having indoor "camp outs" with Mr. Bear. It wasn't cheap but with our Christmas gift money combined we felt it was a good investment towards Sammy's imagination. Some things are priceless.

p.s. Sammy now enjoys dipping her french fries in mustard. She makes an unpleasant sour face every time she tastes the mustard. I'm not so sure she really even likes the flavor. I think she just likes the act of dipping her fries in yellow stuff, ha!

Link to Etsy shop for pretend campfire. (I promise if you order one you won't regret it. Shipped with care, made with love, and created with absolute handmade perfection.)

2012-01-04T14:47:00.004-07:00

Dear Sammy Lu,

You sure have been a handful and a half! Your current favorite place to find bliss is in the bath tub. The Occupational therapist advised me that it's common for Autistic kiddos to find comfort in water. You take at least 3 or more baths a day, which makes you a super clean little girl. You have been using new phrases at the appropriate time, so your speech is progressing. Speaking of speech you have done well with your new speech therapist and have become comfortable with the new therapy center. You also love music therapy, it's definitely something that has proved to be a positive outlet for you to express yourself. Even when you're less than easy to care for I love being your mama and I know that daddy still thinks you're the bees knees. Daddy and I shall continue to encourage and work with you, we want you to be the best we know you can be.

We will always be proud of you, for just being you.

xo,

mama

Lately via iphone pics...

2012-01-03T14:00:00.003-07:00

(1) The best little pancake batter helper
(2) Homemade vegetable beef soup
(3) New Toms, so comfy
(4) Fresh haircut, went shorter

Jimmy has been sick with a cold for a few days now and Sammy has been getting cabin fever from her long holiday school break. Sammy goes back to school on Thursday and I'm crossing my fingers that it goes smoothly. I had an appointment with my Nephrologist (kidney doctor) to go over blood work. I am relieved to say that my kidney transplant is still working well, thank goodness!

2012-01-01T13:34:00.001-07:00

My four year old jumping in a pile of leaves.

I need to focus more on the small things that can bring a tremendous amount of happiness.

2012...

2012-01-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

New Years Eve was spent with the two people I love most in this world. We ate lots of yummy food and Jimmy grilled steaks for dinner. We also enjoyed some backyard fireworks and sparklers (gotta have sparklers). Sammy's only New Years Eve request was to roast marshmallows and make smores. It was a relaxing, casual, and perfect way to welcome the New Year.

Happy New Year!

If I'm ever unsure...

2011-12-30T12:01:00.003-07:00

I was unsure about music therapy being good for Sammy or if it was even worth the money. When I'm unsure about any path I choose for Sammy she usually tells me how she feels about it. It's not spoken but implied by her facial expressions, joy, and aura. Sammy has already committed to memory her music therapists name and has been willingly participating in music therapy. She was born with a natural ability to pick up on tempo, tone, and can learn any song quickly. The kid has got music in her heart. She hears it and just has to move, shake, wiggle, and groove. I enjoy music but not in the way that Sammy does. It brings her to a place of freedom from her struggles.

p.s. The above pic was taken during a lil drum jamming session at music therapy. She was a very happy and free little gal. It's worth every penny to see her glow.

2011-12-29T14:16:00.003-07:00

I'm looking forward to a new year and a fresh start with this lil funny bunny (and papa bunny).

my diy yarn wreath...

2011-12-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

I have seen yarn wreaths floating around the inter-web and knew that I needed to make my own. I am very happy with the way it turned out. The "love" was made from a thin wire formed into the word and covered with yarn. I must warn anyone who wants to make one that it is very time consuming! This sweet wreath was a labor of love.

Christmas...

2011-12-25T20:28:00.001-07:00

Sammy had an overwhelming Christmas weekend, which turned into sensory overload. You wouldnt think that opening gifts would be too much for a kid to handle. Well, it was too much for my lil one. I must say that Sammy has become a pro at opening gifts. Sammy got a lot of great gifts but her big gifts were an android tablet (from Jimmy and I, she loves technology) and a big girl bike (from her grandparents).

p.s. Sammy is out of school for two weeks, eek! Just when I get her to go back to school and her routines are back on track a long holiday break throws a wrench into my progress.

2011-12-22T12:02:00.000-07:00

My best friend sent me a link to an article about finding Adults that have Autism but were never properly diagnosed. These adults were sent to live in institutions because they were considered schizophrenic or mentally retarded. My heart breaks to read stories of children that just needed to be understood and not hidden away; because it was too difficult to pin point why they had certain peculiar struggles. Most all the people in the article completed their education at a University level, it's a shame that they were incorrectly diagnosed. It's hard for people that aren't around Autism to want to understand it. Honestly, I'm still trying to understand it and sometimes I wish it wasn't so complicated. For about a year off and on I would have brief moments when I would go into denial that my child had Autism. It was usually when she was having a good day with very few struggles. I am no longer in denial. A long time ago I slapped myself into reality that my daughter was dealt the Autism card, which allowed me to fully embrace what God had given me. It's still mind boggling that a person who didn't want children (Me!) was entrusted to love and care for a child like Sammy. Either God has a wicked sense of humor or Sammy was always meant to be mine and vice versa. I'm gonna go with it's a combination of both.

Here is a link to the article => Discovering Autism

Bits of Christmas...

2011-12-21T11:24:00.001-07:00

Made the above wreaths. Left wreath was simply wrapped in ribbon, Right wreath made with coffee filters. Didn't go nuts with the holiday decor but I am pleased with the decor I've put out. I think today Pandora radio will be set to Christmas music.

p.s. Here is this years Christmas card. For anyone that didn't get a card, it's because I didn't order enough. Each year my Christmas card list seems to increase. To any online readers, this can be my holiday card to you!

2011-12-19T11:49:00.003-07:00

I finally feel mentally, emotionally, and physically ready to update my blog on what has been happening in my life. Last week Sammy pretty much missed the entire week of school. About a month ago she started to show new struggles with her behavior and some sensory issues. This could have occurred for a number of reasons or for no reason at all. Autism likes to keep parents in a state of wonder and confusion. The best strategy is to move forward and find new techniques, tools, and approaches towards managing the not so pleasant struggles that go along with Autism. I couldn't get Sammy to keep her clothes on or get in a car to save my life. I don't believe and neither does any Autism specialist, teacher, or therapist that I've spoken to believe it's a good approach to force an Autistic child to do what you want. I have learned that with my daughter the forceful approach gets you nowhere and into an even worse situation fast. You just have to take several deep breaths, control your frustration, and take on all obstacles slow and steady. Last Friday Jimmy and I had a meeting with Sammy's teacher, someone from the district's Autism team, a child psychologist, and a speech therapist to try and find a way to get Sammy to come to school. As Jimmy and I were driving to the school I told him I wasn't going to cry because I felt like I was too mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted to produce anymore tears. We were both silent for the majority of the drive but out of nowhere Jimmy said, "Don't worry I've got your back, no one in that meeting will make you sad." he knew exactly what I was feeling (I married the most supportive and amazing man). I was nervous that someone would tell me I wasn't doing enough for Sammy. When I know I'm doing a damn good job raising my daughter, but all parents have moments when they doubt themselves. As soon as we sat down at the table to start the meeting and I had a table full of compassionate eyes staring at me I burst into tears. I felt for a moment that I had a full support team that truly understood my stress and sadness. We discussed Sammy, new ideas towards handling her struggles, and made some new goals. I left feeling hopeful.

I made a "going to school" PECS board. I made my pecs similar but a little different than Sammy's classroom PECS. I made it so it would work for Sammy and when it was completed I admit that I felt a wee bit proud of it. I ran through the PECS and how Sammy would do with it. In my head it went smoothly but I was still unsure about it working. All weekend I had a knot in my stomach because I was worried the plan wasn't going to be successful and that I couldn't handle another set back. I needed a victory, even a small one like getting Sammy to go to school. She needs her special preschool time because it gives her structure, social interaction, and other things that have a positive impact towards her Autism.

This morning was the big day to test my homemade PECS. I brought it out and asked Sammy to name all the PECS. I explained that after each task is completed and put into the checked envelope that she could then get her smiley face and exchange it for a treat in the smiley envelope. Jimmy even went into work late to basically assist me in getting Sammy to school and to be my support if things didn't go well. Thankfully the PECS worked!! Once we arrived at her school I could have cried. I know the PECS board won't always work just like at school sometimes Sammy doesn't want to transition or go with the program, but it gave me the small victory I needed.

There have been other struggles that are related to Sammy's Autism but I just want to focus on this victory.

p.s. If you are curious about PECS click here => PECS

2011-12-10T16:32:00.001-07:00

It's the small things like having a successful family outing at a park that makes all the difficult parts of parenthood seem totally worth it.

If I ever feel blue...

2011-12-08T13:37:00.001-07:00

It's impossible to feel blue for too long when you know that you had a hand in creating something so breathtakingly beautiful. Especially when that something is the perfect combination of yourself and your significant other. Yeah, she's kind of amazing.

2011-12-06T13:07:00.007-07:00

I'm still alive! I've been neglecting my blog for a few reasons. The first and most important reason is parenting Sammy. She has been a handful! Putting clothes on her, keeping clothes on her, getting her in the car, trying to get through a store without something triggering a meltdown and much more has been exhausting and leaves little energy for anything else. I had school finals last week so that was also keeping me away. Oh and I finally got bitten by the holiday shopping bug. I am determined to get all my Christmas shopping done this week. I'm just not feeling that happy holiday spirit yet, hopefully I'll feel it soon.

p.s. It's been super chilly in Arizona, I heart Winter weather. (Above pics taken with iphone4s)

'twas a lovely thanksgiving...

2011-11-24T21:40:00.002-07:00

Spent quality time with loved ones, laughed a lot, ate yummy food, and felt very blessed.

5 years...

2011-11-24T10:13:00.002-07:00

Today is not only Thanksgiving it's also my 5 year wedding anniversary!

Jimmy,

Thank you for our little miracle, a kidney, amazing memories, being my best friend, and loving me at my very worst. It's been a good life, I look forward to our future and the endless possibilities.

Love,
Sue

2011-11-23T15:12:00.000-07:00

have a thankful thanksgiving...

Sammy's first Thanksgiving, she weighed about 4 pounds.

I am thankful

happiness is...

2011-11-19T22:27:00.001-07:00

swinging + daddy + giggles = happiness

They really are my two favorite people. I'm a lucky gal.

A thought...

2011-11-18T16:23:00.003-07:00

I constantly worry about her future, her success, her happiness, her everything. Honestly, if I could live forever I would. The problem is I won't live forever. This fact weighs heavy on my mind. The older I get the more I wonder what will become of my sweet Sammy. Will she meet a man that will understand her struggles and accept her, take care of her, love her with his entire being?

This is when Jimmy puts my thoughts on pause. Reminds me to simply enjoy our little girl and that she is still just a little girl. Take delight in the fact that she is healthy, happy, and most importantly ours to love.

Sammy and Santa...

2011-11-17T07:52:00.005-07:00

Santa looks like he took one too many swigs from his "happy sauce". I don't blame him, ha!

Seeing Sammy's excitement to sit and visit with Santa made my heart swollen with sunshine and unicorns. Spent far too much on Santa pictures, but how could I not? Jimmy and I were so overcome with happiness and relief that Sammy's encounter with Santa went well that in the middle of the mall we were acting like giddy children. Another wonderful memory was made. This is the stuff that makes parenthood rewarding.

p.s. I love that Sammy can only produce genuine smiles. If she isn't truly happy don't expect a smile. Gah, the top image is our money shot, sooo adorable!

Lately...

2011-11-15T12:30:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure if it's just me or everyone feels the same after planning a party, but I go into hibernation mode for a couple days. Maybe it's a sign that I am an old lady, ha!

Is anyone else already playing Christmas music? I am looking forward to family gatherings, yummy food, that festive feeling in the air, Arizona staying cold, and wrapping gifts (I love wrapping gifts). I think a trip to visit Santa will be on our to do list this weekend.

Sammy has been keeping me busy. She never stops moving, exploring, and getting into things (like her diaper, I'll spare you the details). Her curiosity is fun and exhausting. I heart her.

Jimmy's graduation

2011-11-12T22:30:00.002-07:00

This entire day was filled with water works. Seeing Jimmy walk across the stage in his cap and gown was a proud and amazing moment. After the graduation ceremony we feasted, thanks to the efforts of my dear friend and chef Ray. He really accomplished the menu I had envisioned. Jimmy loves food and he likes trying new food even more. I am now a big fan of baked brie and cherry jam, yum!

p.s. It's tradition for the college graduate to put his/her stole around the neck of someone that has inspired them to achieve their dream of completing college. Jimmy decided to give it to his dad, it was so sweet and touching. Yup, I cried again. Oh and I only got one picture of Sammy because she was busy playing and I just didn't want to ruin a good thing by forcing her to take a picture.

Congrats Jimmy!

Thanks:
Ray- for being my life saving chef, the food was devine.
Mama K- for hosting and allowing us to make a huge mess.
Mom- for babysitting Sammy so I could attend the grad ceremony.

This is a forever kind of love...

2011-11-09T16:37:00.000-07:00

a little piece of me.

This is making me happy...

2011-11-07T16:27:00.006-07:00

One & Two: Spending time with a delightful friend and making DIY braided hex nut bracelets (I love the way it turned out, it's got just enough punk rock to it without making me feel like a punk rocker. Please excuse my dry skin, I am the worst when it comes to lotioning on a regular basis.)

Three: Cloudy and rainy weather, love the cold.

Four: Pumpkin bread (In my opinion Starbucks has the best pumpkin bread)

Five: New book! Holy shiz, Mindy Kaling is hilarious!

Sammy missed school today because she decided to stay up the entire night! She was filled with crazy energy. Our night was filled with pleading and bribing Sammy to go to sleep. Her range of emotions were goofy, overly hyper, crying, angry, and frustrated. She also emptied an economy sized bottle of hand sanitizer. Yeah, nothing like a moment of pure fear and panic that your child may have consumed a giant bottle of hand sanitizer. Thankfully she is fine and we assume all the hand sanitizer ended up in her bedding. She exhausted herself around 6am and fell asleep. It was a difficult night...

2011-11-06T19:05:00.000-07:00

Jimmy and I spent our Saturday with two awesome friends at an outdoor shooting range and eating a yummy lunch at one of my favorite restaurants. I shot a sniper rifle for the first time and it definitely gave me an adrenaline rush. Arizona has finally cooled down and the entire weekend was filled with amazing weather.

This morning I hung out with my pal Ray to go over Jimmy's graduation celebration menu. Next weekend is Jimmy's college graduation, I'm pretty excited for him!

Jimmy, Sammy, and I ended our weekend by roasting marshmallows and making smores. It was a lovely weekend. Yay, for cardigan weather!

Happening right meow...

2011-11-02T15:33:00.007-07:00

Last Friday Sammy had her first private music therapy session. As usual I was nervous about how Sammy would react to a new facility and therapist. When we arrived to the facility Sammy was a little hesitant to go inside the building. The music therapist met us in the waiting room with enthusiastic energy, which I think made her even more hesitant. It took a few tries to coax Sammy into the music room. Every step towards the room was done with caution and I could tell Sammy was feeling a mix of anxiety and curiosity. Once we made it into the music room the therapist started playing his guitar, which startled and excited Sammy. She quickly spotted the piano and hoisted herself up onto a chair in front of it. With her head down looking at the piano keys she began to push the keys one at a time. The music therapist slowly moved closer to Sammy and started to sing her favorite song about monkeys swinging in a tree. There was a mirror in front of the piano which I believe is used to combine speech and music therapy. I stood up to take a glance of Sammy's reflection in the mirror and saw her peeking and smiling at the music therapist. I would even say she was giving him a flirtatious expression, I about died from the cuteness. He did it, her attention had been captured! The rest of the music therapy session went great and Sammy really came out of her "Autistic shell" I got to see a whole different side of Sammy's personality. The music therapist told me that Sammy has a natural ability to recognize and pick up on rhythm and tempo. The sessions are not cheap, but if I could transmit the experience and how it made Sammy feel into your mind it would make perfect sense why she needs it.

I explained Sammy's first music therapy session in greater detail to my in-laws and as I was discussing it I started to cry. It was that big of a deal. I was overwhelmed with the idea of Sammy having an outlet like music to express herself. Something special that she enjoys and makes her incredibly happy.

I also found out that karate lessons are offered for Autistic kiddos at the same therapy facility. I get goose bumps and my heart flutters imagining Sammy in a little white karate uniform kicking around and giggling with other Autistic children.

I'm so proud of my sweet girl.

p.s. I received an email from a follower of my blog. Every once in a while I get a random email from someone telling me they enjoy my blog, but this one was very much appreciated. It was short and sweet.

"Hi! I just wanted to say that I've been following your blog for a couple of years now. Love the pictures and the stories. Keep fighting the good fight with Sammy."

*I shall keep fighting the good fight!

2011-10-31T20:42:00.002-07:00

Happy Halloween.

Image one: A little pumpkin that Sammy decorated at school.

Image two: Sammy in her Dorothy costume, Jimmy in his DJ Lance Rock costume.

Image three: Baked a triple layer white cake with butter creme frosting for my mom-in-laws birthday.

a bleeping gumball...

2011-10-29T16:30:00.007-07:00

This afternoon Jimmy, Sammy, and I attended Gilbert's Halloween festival. Our morning started off great, even got a little work out in. I decided to put Sammy in last year's costume and save her new one for Halloween day. We arrived at the festival and of course she wanted to ride a pony first. I swear she gets pony rides once a week, ha! We hit up the pirate ship bounce around, which she surprisingly enjoyed. It was really hot so we stopped to purchase a blueberry icee and take cover under some shade. There were also mini donuts consumed, so amazing! They tasted like bite sized churros but better. About an hour into our festival fun is when a small thing turned into the biggest red nightmare....

Sammy has a sixth sense when it comes to detecting sweets that are near by. She noticed one of the food vendors had a large gumball machine. Sammy shouted, "umball!!!!" and pointed in the direction of the gumball machine. We reach the gumball machine and as I hand Sammy a quarter the vendor tells me he just got shut down by a health inspector. The vendor told me he wasn't even allowed to sell us a gumball.

Oh shit...5, 4, 3, 2, 1...and now Sammy is in full meltdown mode.

I quickly tell Jimmy that we need to get the hell out of here but it's too late. Jimmy is now caring/wrangling Sammy in his arms as we proceed towards the nearest exit. Sammy is all over the place, stiffening her body, screaming, crying, shouting out random words it's a hot mess. When we are in the midst of trying to escape a public place it really doesn't bother me if people are looking because I have survival blinders on. It usually occurs after Sammy has settled down and I'm at home when I wonder what people must have thought at the sight of my child losing her mind. I'm certain some were just curious, but there are the ones that judge. Sometimes I think it would be easier to wear a shirt that says, "stop staring my daughter is Autistic and is having sensory overload, shit happens." but that's a lot of words for one shirt. Back to the chaos. We get through the exit and there is a large open grass field. Jimmy decided he needed to set her down so he could take a breath and try to calm her down. As soon as he sets her down she bolts off running like an animal being set free into the wild. Picture this a running, crying, screaming, and crazy bumble bee and a grown man trying to catch her. Like I said, A HOT MESS! I actually laughed a couple times. It's either laugh, cry, or have a stroke. Some how we managed to make it to the car but it took another thirty minutes just to get her into the car seat. About half way home Sammy calmed down. I looked over to see her cuddling Mr. bear completely clueless and unaware of the exhausting events that had just occurred.

Oh and before we entered the festival the ticket lady wanted to put a wrist band on Sammy. I told her that Sammy was Autistic and may react badly to a stranger trying to put a wrist band on her. That I would prefer to put it on her myself. I got a lovely blank expression followed by an annoyed one. Sometimes I feel like I need to run through an open field screaming.

The heat, an over stimulating new environment, and the bleeping gumball played a role in Sammy having a moment of madness. You may be wondering why I keep putting Sammy in situations that I know will most likely spark a negative reaction or outcome? It's because I want what all parents want for their children, a normal life. I refuse to hide her away because it's easier.

2011-10-23T17:56:00.004-07:00

We had another low key weekend. Baked molasses cookies and had the in-law over for dinner.

I had a thought about parenting a child with Autism.....

My daughter has behavioral, emotional, and social issues. Those things greatly effect the way she interacts and reacts to people. The other night I wanted her to sing a song to her grandparents, but she didn't want to perform. The more I pushed her to sing the more frustrated she would become. Let's be honest all parents enjoy showing off their kids by making them sing, dance, show random talents like balancing a spoon on their nose, ect.

Do parents unconsciously think it will increase their child's love-ability? This question isn't intended to be negative, just something to think about.

Sammy goes by the beat of her own elephant and could care less if people think she's being cute, sweet, and interesting. I appreciate her for it, the freedom of not caring. I can't force people to fall in love with her and that's okay. Although, I do hope that people try to see past my daughter's not so pleasant struggles and see a glimpse at what I see when I look at her.

She is amazing.

2011-10-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

Have a sweet weekend.

This morning I hadn't even finished a cup of coffee when my eyes filled up with tears from reading this => heartbreaking and beautiful story.

"I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my son. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go." -Emily Rapp

2011-10-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

Stuff that is currently making me happy:

1. Sammy <= a given

2. Harry Potter - it's all about Neville Longbottom, he's a total bad ass.

3. attempting to reconnect with a cousin

4. snapping pictures

5. costa vida salads

6. all the holiday crap at Target

7. Adele-21 cd

8. Boardwalk Empire, Enlightened, and The Walking Dead

9. turning in homework on time, I was bad about that in my last two courses..sigh

10. bright orange nail polish

2011-10-16T22:00:00.001-07:00

Tonight I made stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon, Jimmy was a happy hubby.

Ingredients:

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese

1 cup shredded mild cheddar cheese (or whichever cheese you prefer)

1/4 cup sour cream

1/2 a packet of dry ranch salad dressing (hidden valley)

1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder

10-15 large jalapeno peppers halved and seeded

1 pound sliced bacon cut in half

*Soak halved and seeded jalapenos in ice water for 20 minutes to remove some of the heat.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Place aluminum foil on a cooking pan.

Mix together cream cheese, shredded cheese, sour cream, ranch, and garlic powder. Spoon approximately a tablespoon of the mixture into each jalapeno half. Wrap each jalapeno in bacon and secure with a toothpick.

Placed stuffed/wrapped jalapeno halves on pan and bake for 20 minutes.

Easy appetizer, enjoy!

2011-10-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a lazy day. Lots of pretend pirate adventures.

Staying home can be just as enjoyable as going on family outings.

It can also save a few bucks..teehee

2011-10-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

(Above image: My niece and Sammy)

p.s. These => pumpkin pie truffles are kind of amazing.

2011-10-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

This week I really haven't been in the mood to blog. To sum it up I was dealing with an Autistic non potty trained toddler's massive diarrhea and horribly painful crotch/buttocks rash that lasted for three days. Sammy cried and was miserable which of course made me cry. While you're in a crappy situation you think it will never end, but then it does and it shows you how capable you really are at handling the hard stuff.

Yesterday, Sammy and I had a playdate at a friend's house and I'm pleased with how it turned out. You just never know how Sammy will react to new environments, but for the most part she enjoyed it.

It's 100 degrees all sunshine and I've been heating up my kitchen even more. I baked pumpkin bread and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Sammy is now obsessed with the idea of making s'mores so we have been lighting up the fire pit every night this week. 100 degree and a fire pit, is not pleasant. The things parents do to put a smile on their kids faces is mind boggling.

2011-10-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

Sammy has become an expert s'more maker. The problem is she takes 4 bites and then wants to make a new one. She made about 7 s'mores last night and all of them were taste tested. My justification was seeing the giant smile on her face every time she made one.

It's Fall break so no school for Sammy, which means no break for mama. It's amazing how much I can accomplish in two hours while she is at school.

p.s. Love, love, love this photography project => The mixed race project

It's a beautiful day

2011-10-08T14:46:00.003-07:00

Spent another lovely morning at the farm, but this time Sammy's lil' friend joined us.

My friend was there too, but it's really all about the lil' gals.

p.s. Sammy now has a special place in her heart that is reserved for ponies.

2011-10-06T15:51:00.002-07:00

Arizona is giving it's residents a taste of fall and I am so thankful for the much needed drop in temperature. Sammy and I have spent the entire day outside enjoying the fresh air, breeze, and clouds. I'm currently typing this blog post outside because the weather is that amazing.

We have three large trees in our backyard and Sammy will give each of them a hug and say, "Hello tree!" then she will look up and stare at all the leaves for a significant amount of time. I love that a four year old approaches everything with amazement and curiosity.

Conversation with Sammy:
Me: Sammy, who does mama love?
Sammy: Mama loves Sammy!

Our conversations are short but sweet.

2011-10-05T14:34:00.001-07:00

Totally unrelated images, but both enjoyable.

Yesterday, I decided I ~~needed~~ wanted to make some homemade salsa. I'd never made salsa before but knew it wasn't rocket science. My salsa turned out delish and has a nice kick from the mad amount of tabasco and jalapenos I added. Tonight I will be making taco salads for dinner and they will be topped with my fresh salsa, yummy!

Last night I met two of my beautiful friends for eats and conversation. You know you have a natural friendship when you can chit chat in person about anything and everything for four hours straight.

One of my new courses is psychology and I'm not so sure it's my cup of tea. I thought it was gonna be a breeze because it's an elective; nope it's a lot of information and it's sort of blowing my mind away. For example; I never knew there are the initial fields of perspectives on psychology and then there are a lot of subfields. I suppose when a course is all about understanding the human mind, emotions, and actions it's gonna be heavy. Crossing my fingers that I don't lose my mind trying to understand it all. School has never been easy for me so it could just be me that thinks psychology is a difficult subject.

p.s. Sorry this was an all over the place post.

2011-10-04T12:49:00.006-07:00

Today during recess one of Sammy's classmates was sitting at the top of the playground slide, but he didn't want to go down. An aide told me that Sammy was standing behind the classmate waiting her turn to go down the slide. She didn't try to push him down or throw a tantrum because he was holding up the slide. Instead she decided to use encouraging words. She said, "Kayden you can do it, Kayden you can do it!" and cheerfully repeated those words over and over. I had a proud mama moment as the aide told me how sweet and gentle she was towards her classmate. It's a good feeling to know that your child is being kind to others. It's an even better feeling to know that your child is being kind without you having to be there.

Isn't that the end goal to teach your child to make independent, thoughtful, and wise choices?

p.s. Sammy is highly entertained by her hamsters rolling around the house in their exercise ball. I find it very amusing to watch her run after them while shouting, "hey wait for me hamsters!"

2011-10-03T07:52:00.002-07:00

Last night's dinner; Pioneer Woman's chicken fried steak, mashed tators, steamed broccoli, and pumpkin cupcakes. It was the kind of meal that makes me wish I owned a pair of stretchy pajama jeans. My mother in law makes the yummiest, sweetest, and most decadent pumpkin cupcakes. Mama K, thanks again for feeding us a delish dinner..I'm still uncomfortably full!

I'm so happy it's finally October and Winter (Arizona Winter) isn't too far away.

(Above image: Grandpa K and Sammy)

Weekend mornings are wonderful...

2011-10-02T11:19:00.004-07:00

I've made french toast two mornings in a row. Sammy's tummy is pleased.

2011-10-01T16:26:00.006-07:00

Jimmy, Sammy, and I spent the morning at a local farm. It's still a tad too warm to spend long hours outdoors but lil' ones still need fresh air. When Sammy was around two years old we tried to put her on a pony but it terrified her. Four year old Sammy has definitely changed her opinion on pony rides. She fell in love with a black pony named "Jet" and looked like a natural riding him. My favorite part in the above video is when Sammy gives her sweet pony a little pat. We didn't even ask her to do it she just felt like giving him a little appreciation for being a good pony.ha!

2011-09-30T14:01:00.001-07:00

Grandma's house is one of Sammy's happy places.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Eat yummy food, relax, and enjoy lots of quality time with loved ones.

The name game...

2011-09-29T13:10:00.006-07:00

This morning I had a discussion with Sammy's school speech therapist. It's come to my attention that Sammy may have Apraxia. The school speech therapist thinks that Sammy displays evident signs of verbal Apraxia. I had never heard of Apraxia, but after some research it makes sense. Jimmy and I have been very aware of Sammy's speech struggles and her inability to say most words with clarity. It's obvious that she understands a great deal, but there is a disconnect when trying to properly pronounce words.

Apraxia is a motor speech disorder that makes it difficult to make sounds or words. The brain has problems planning the movements of body parts (lips, jaw, tongue) needed for speech. Sammy knows what she wants to say, but her brain has difficulty coordinating the muscle movements necessary to say those words.

After receiving this enlightening information I have decided to start Sammy back in private speech therapy sessions. I had stopped her speech therapy when school started because I felt that Jimmy and I along with school would be enough. I'm learning as I go along and find that raising a child and especially one with special needs can be filled with lots of mistakes. I'm actually relieved to have a possible answer to why Sammy still struggles with speech. Jimmy and I are the types of people who don't shy away from hard facts. When Sammy was officially diagnosed with Autism we weren't shocked because we always knew. The only difference is that with an official medical diagnosis we could move on with the proper types of therapies Sammy needed. It's all red tape, lots of phone calls, and piles of paperwork to get the correct therapy a child with Autism needs. I will say that once you have fought the battle and are in "the system" it gets easier.

I knew when Sammy was born that nothing would come easy for her, but that is precisely why she amazes me.

2011-09-26T18:57:00.001-07:00

Sunday was all about moving slowly and staying home. We ventured out only to get groceries. Sammy has been pleased by the overflow of left over birthday party candy; which she has selflessly helped to decrease.

p.s. I am loving mason jars filled with flowers, it's the small things.

Sammy's 4th birthday party recap

2011-09-24T17:33:00.002-07:00

It was a lovely party and I'm certain Sammy enjoyed it. Four years can sure fly by!

Sammy,

You are loved.

2011-09-23T16:59:00.001-07:00

Lots of decorating, cleaning, and errand running was accomplished today. I'm all set for Sammy's birthday party tomorrow! I'm also exhausted. Why do I throw birthday parties when Sammy won't even remember them?

Oh..
yeah..
it's because she's my sweetheart.

Four years old

2011-09-22T09:58:00.007-07:00

Four years ago on September 22, 2007 at 12:55am I gave birth to a 2 pound 14 ounce baby girl. The day before her birth I had been having contractions but was in total denial and passed it off as regular stomach pains. Jimmy got off work at 10:30pm and by the grace of something higher than ourselves arrived at the hospital right before I went into labor. Sammy came into this world the same way she has lived it; boldly! The doctor actually told me to stop pushing because Sammy was coming out too fast, but there was no way to slow her arrival. I recall lots of screaming and pleading with the nurses to not let me die because I was completely irrational and terrified. I was frightened that I wasn't ready for motherhood (what new mom is?) and that my daughter would come out with severe medical issues. I do remember seeing Jimmy's facial expression when he first laid eyes on our tiny girl; it was love at first sight. Cupid's arrow had struck him instantly and there was no turning back. It's been an incredible journey raising, loving, learning, and growing together.

Happy Birthday, little miracle!

She's so easy to love...

2011-09-17T16:10:00.000-07:00

We had a busy day/afternoon.

The entire drive home this beautiful girl giggled and smiled.

2011-09-17T15:54:00.012-07:00

This morning we took Sammy to Imagination Avenue. It's basically an indoor town that is made just for little kids. There is a hospital, grocery store, dress up, jail, and even a little road to drive little cars on. It's a toddlers dream come true. Sammy loved, loved, loved it! I wish I had gotten video of her excitement and happiness as she ran from one little building to the next.

Since we drove an hour to get to Imagination Avenue we decided to check out the other Jambo indoor amusement park (It's located just a couple miles from Imagination Avenue). This one had completely different rides, so it was a whole new experience. The only negative was that adults are not allowed to ride with children. Jimmy was hesitant about allowing Sammy to ride any of the rides without him. We had never allowed Sammy to go on any rides by herself. This is mainly because she doesn't understand that she can't get off the ride while it's moving. When Sammy saw the swing ride she immediately wanted to go on it. I said a silent prayer and then Jimmy buckled her into a seat and we both held our breathes. I seriously had major tummy tremors and had to remind myself not to lock my jaw from terror. To our surprise Sammy loved it and sat very still during the entire ride! Jimmy was standing across from me and I yelled, "Jimmy she's doing it, she's so amazing!" which got a few raised eye brows from random people standing nearby. I mean there were 2 year olds on the same ride and their parents weren't even fazed. Jimmy and I are definitely living a different life then a lot of parents. Small accomplishments like riding on a kiddie ride all by herself makes my eyes fill up with tears. If I'd had confetti I would have thrown it up in the air from how excited and proud I felt. I beleive it's important to celebrate all the victories, even the ones that may seem insignificant. I know Sammy notices when Jimmy and I are cheering her on. I will always be the loudest mom hooping and a hollering "You can do it!" or "I'm so proud of you!" because that is who I am.

There was also a cool area where you could ride mechanical animals that would actually walk. Sammy had a blast!

Videos of our outing, click on links below to view:
http://www.vimeo.com/29195948

http://www.vimeo.com/29195925

2011-09-16T16:40:00.001-07:00

Have a wonderful weekend.

Homemade pumpkin goodness...

2011-09-13T13:26:00.002-07:00

This afternoon I've been baking pumpkin creme pies, I couldn't wait until October.

They are a pumpkin lovers dream come true.

2011-09-12T14:58:00.002-07:00

Dearest Sammy,

One morning you decided you wanted a chocolate chip pancake and canned oysters for breakfast. Sometimes you know exactly what you want and it's usually strange. Daddy wants me to tell you that he doesn't appreciate you using his comb as a toothbrush. When daddy scolds you for having your face 1 inch away from the television it's only because he cares. Attempting to eat the flame of a birthday candle is a horrible idea and it gives me minor heart attacks when you try. You still demand a banana even though you never eat it. I will give you props for always being quick to answer the banana when it rings. The conversation is usually "Hello? good-bye!" you are definitely someone who doesn't like to waste time chit chatting on your banana.

It's never dull when you're around.

Some friendships are forever...

2011-09-11T13:35:00.004-07:00

There is something genuinely special about a friend that has seen you at your very worst but still loves you. This morning one of my best friends and her daughter came over to visit and brought Sammy an early birthday gift. Sammy even poured pretend tea for her little guest.

p.s. I've read several blogs that have discussed their feelings about the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11th. Honestly, I don't know what to say about it. I didn't lose anyone and I was several states away when it happened. I also feel like I should acknowledge a very significant event. My heart goes out to the friends and family members that lost loved ones.

She makes the world colorful...

2011-09-10T17:04:00.002-07:00

The above pics were taken at the Arizona Science Center. There was a huge screen that you could stand behind and just by the motion of your hands you could move the falling digital colored grains. I think Sammy's mind was blown away, it was truly an amazing and beautiful sight to see.

2011-09-10T16:47:00.001-07:00

This morning Jimmy, Sammy, and I ventured out to the Arizona Science Center.

Sammy really enjoyed herself, which means Jimmy and I enjoyed it too. If you have an Autistic toddler I highly recommend going. There are lots of interactive exhibits and plenty of room to run free. Sammy's favorite part was the immersion theater. It's a big platform where people stand and actually get to feel different types of weather.

p.s. Jimmy and I have grown accustom to being prepared for outings with an Autistic toddler. Here are some of the tips I use when going on any outings with Sammy.

1.) Go early to everything! If the museum opens at 10am, be there at 9:55am. This way when you enter it won't be swarming with unfamiliar people.

2.) New and busy public places work better if you have another person there that can help you calm your child or escape quickly.

3.) Bring comforting items, this can range from snacks to toys. (don't feel like a bad parent if you need to resort to a portable dvd player.)

4.) Watch for possible triggers. You know your child and what situations, textures, sounds, ect will upset them and put them into full meltdown mode.

5.) Last but not least be sure to apply a lot of deodorant, because going out to public places with an Autistic child can be a sweaty experience.

The clouds are rolling in...

2011-09-09T13:11:00.002-07:00

I turned up Pandora and we played outside. Sammy discovered some seeds and gently carried them in her little hand. She decided they needed to be rinsed and planted. She filled her small watering can and prepared a spot in the ground. I am always astonished to find out how much she understands and already knows.

I recently told a friend that Sammy completes me. I wasn't whole before she existed and now... I am.

My guy...

2011-09-08T13:33:00.004-07:00

This guy works hard for his family.

Jimmy wasn't very excited about attending his graduation ceremony (he doesn't like to be the center of attention). That is until his cap and gown arrived. As soon as he put them on and straightened his bow tie, you could see a glow of pride sweep over him. I know he is looking forward to finishing a degree that has taken a long time to complete.

He will be receiving a Bachelor of Science in Information Technology/Networking and Telecommunications. The announcements have been sent and I know I will be a weeping wife on his big day. He has earned it!

p.s. The above pics are silly ones that Jimmy wanted to take in his cap and gown.

2011-09-06T12:56:00.001-07:00

Trying our best to stay cool. Looking forward to pumpkin picking and cardigans. I am imagining homemade pumpkin creme pies and little ones dressed in costumes. Lots of exciting events and possible changes coming soon. There is hope in the air....

2011-09-05T10:37:00.000-07:00

Long weekends are good. Man, I love this lil' gal.

2011-09-04T21:14:00.006-07:00

Today I spent some time with my dear friend Ray.

It was time well spent.

p.s. He's a chef and has graciously offered to help me plan a menu for Jimmy's graduation celebration. Can't wait to see what he comes up with!

Snippets from Saturday

2011-09-04T12:50:00.001-07:00

My mom, step dad, and brother came over to celebrate my mom's birthday. I served homemade banana muffins and fresh fruit. Sammy sang the happy birthday song all by herself, it was super sweet. When everyone clapped she got a little embarrassed but I could tell she was proud of herself. I'm certain that it made my mom really happy to get a special birthday serenade from Sammy.

Later in the day Jimmy, Sammy, and I ventured out to Toys R Us. We finally got her birthday gift, Jimmy and I can't wait to give it to her! Our outing ended with cold treats from Dairy Queen.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing at home; it was splendid.

2011-09-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

Friday morning. Thank goodness for the weekend. It's time to reconnect.

2011-09-01T16:53:00.000-07:00

September has a special place in my heart. It's the month that Sammy graced the world with her presence. Life would never be dull and the house would never stay tidy, ha! Only a few more weeks until my baby girl turns 4.

I was at a children's clothing store and found myself looking at all the preemie and newborn clothes. Gah, I almost died from all the cuteness! When you are expecting your first baby people tell you not to purchase a lot of clothes. That your baby will quickly outgrow most of the outfits, so it's a waste of money. Here is my opinion; purchase as many adorable little outfits as your heart desires. Who says a baby can't have several wardrobe changes? Take lots of pictures and when you think you have taken too many; take some more for good measure. This raising a kid thing goes by fast; so soak it up!

2011-09-01T12:46:00.001-07:00

Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

I think loving is an investment.

It's a risk.

But the return can be very rewarding.

Best investment I ever made.

2011-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

Memories are either welcomed, uninvited, or accidentally stumbled upon. Some can leave you floating on air, while others can make you shiver with regret. There are several that I would instantly erase and far too many that fade away without my consent. Memories have the power to make you immortal. A memory has no bias for the ugly and the beautiful. Everything is saved and stored.

Making memories over here. Hopefully they keep well.

2011-08-31T12:02:00.002-07:00

This morning while Sammy was at school I got crafty. Went to a friends house and made the above wreath (it's made from book pages..I know obviously). I wish I could have stayed all day, because making crafts and chatting with lovely friends is the best thing ever! My new wreath is so purdy!

p.s Thanks again Kristen for hosting our little crafting get together.

2011-08-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

Professional heart melter.

2011-08-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

I worry about things that I have no control over. I worry about yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I worry about the big things and the little things. I worry about normal things like money and I worry about outrageous things like surviving a zombie invasion.

My husband believes that everyone has power over their perspective. I'm trying...

2011-08-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

Around here...

Cuddles are mandatory.

2011-08-28T08:16:00.005-07:00

Yesterday morning I met a couple gal pals for pedicures and lunch. Oh I do enjoy some girl time. Then headed home to drop the baby girl off at her grandparent's house for a slumber party. Jimmy and I went on a much needed date night. We went to see a movie and afterwards ate dinner at our favorite Korean restaurant. Jimmy always orders something strange because he is far more adventurous than I am. This time when he ordered (can't recall what it was) the waitress (who was very Korean and spoke Korean) asked him if he was sure he wanted it. With one eye brow raised she basically told him that only Korean people can stomach the dish. Jimmy chuckled and thoughtfully told her that he loves all Korean food. At the end of our meal Jimmy had cleaned his entire plate and mine was only half eaten (I was full!). On the way home we stopped by AJ's bakery for a little treat (there is always room for desert). I got a miniature cake, it was heavenly!

This morning Jimmy is sleeping in because there is no little lady jumping into our bed and waking him up. He has never asked me to keep Sammy away so he can sleep in. In the morning I'm usually the first person up, because I have an annoying inner alarm clock. As soon as Sammy wakes up she walks into our bedroom because she knows that is where her daddy is. She climbs up into our bed and says, "Daddy, wake up!" and then proceeds to attack his face with kisses. I know he thinks it's a pretty good way to be woken up, even if it is forced.

2011-08-26T12:20:00.003-07:00

Have a great weekend. I will be spending my weekend with people I adore and writing a persuasive essay for my com/156 class (wishing I didn't have homework).

On a happy note here is a video link to Sammy having a little groove.

2011-08-25T17:53:00.000-07:00

Before I met Jimmy, I really didn't want to have kids. When I found out I was pregnant, I secretly hoped for a baby boy. After finding out that I was expecting a baby girl, I made a decision to not dress her too girly or stuff her closet full of pink colored clothing. The day my daughter came into this world I felt detached and was terrified that I would never feel a deep motherly love for her.

Now.....

Well, lets just say that everything I thought and wanted has changed. I would have loved whichever gender God decided to bless me with; but between you and me. I am pretty fond of the fact that I was entrusted with a little girl. She is my sugar and spice.

2011-08-25T13:36:00.001-07:00

The images of Sammy in her strawberry dress are from this morning before school. She enjoys brushing her teeth because it allows her to see herself in a mirror. I think she is still trying to wrap her mind around seeing her own reflection; it's a sweet and funny sight to witness.

Sammy is loving school. In the morning when she wakes up and sees her school clothes she says, "school?" and when I tell her yes it's school time she gets the biggest smile and burst of excitement.

This afternoon I've been baking homemade blueberry muffins for Jimmy's co-workers. Even Sammy likes a blueberry muffin every once in a while.

2011-08-23T11:48:00.004-07:00

Sammy knows how to spell her name. She confidently says, "S A M M Y spells Sammy!"

Felt like ~~bragging~~ sharing.

2011-08-20T14:05:00.006-07:00

Every weekend Jimmy and I try to expose Sammy to something new and hopefully fun. This weekend was our first Jambo amusement park experience. Jimmy and I are always prepared to make a speedy exit if Sammy decides to have a major Autistic meltdown. Well, to both our surprise Sammy was in heaven. She was so excited to see all the rides, bright flashing lights, and games. She went on every single ride, twice! God bless my sweet husband for jamming himself into every little kiddie ride so Sammy wouldn't feel nervous. He is seriously the best father. I'm also thankful for Sammy not inheriting my motion sickness, she wasn't bothered by any of rides or the speed at which they moved. There was a moment where Sammy had a rush of over stimulation and she completely went crazy. Thankfully, Jimmy and I were able to get her to calm down and go back inside. It's very rare to have a super successful outing with Sammy; but I must say this one falls close to perfect.

I really think that building memories is exhausting and totally worth it.

p.s. Sammy is feeling much better, still stuffy but definitely improving.

2011-08-17T15:38:00.004-07:00

Sammy and I make special trips to the store just for sweets, we get whatever our taste buds desire. Yup, life is good.

2011-08-16T17:27:00.005-07:00

Sometimes I think that discussing Autism and how it effects my daughter is still considered taboo. Even with the increasing information and acknowledgement that Autism is very much real and not just a condition associated with troubled or hyper active children. That it's not chosen, it just exists. That people may perceive it as an excuse or an invitation to a pity party. It is a giant part of my life; because it's interlocked in everything that makes my daughter who she is. She is as peculiar as any other child her age; but there is a difference. Although you can't see it by her outer appearance she is Autistic. This fact is stressful and unknowing, but isn't that how everyone's life is?

Sammy has a compulsion to stack and line up objects. She always has a particular order for her lining and stacking. She also places objects in random places; but it always has a specific purpose. I suppose you could say there is a method to her madness. I love who she is; it's molded me into the type of mother I never thought I could be.

I know that God does not give us more than what we can handle.

2011-08-16T14:42:00.000-07:00

love...

2011-08-14T19:53:00.001-07:00

Jimmy, Sammy, and I spent the afternoon at my in-laws house. There really are only two places where I don't feel an intense need to watch Sammy closely; where I can let her run free and be herself. The first place is our own home and the second is her grandparent's house. Thankful for the people that love my daughter as much as I do.

2011-08-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

Today I'm feeling accomplished. Having a good weekend, spending a lot of time with Jimmy and Sammy, met a deadline for a big homework assignment, almost read an entire book in the span of two days, and just feeling all around happy.

p.s. I took the above picture yesterday on our drive home from the museum. I looked at Jimmy and said, "You know I bet some people have never seen mountains like the ones we have in Arizona." I often forget to appreciate the beauty of my everyday surroundings.

2011-08-13T15:08:00.001-07:00

This morning Jimmy, Sammy, and I went to the Arizona Museum of Natural History. Sammy has been showing interest in dinosaurs; so we thought she might enjoy seeing all the dinosaur fossils. As soon as we arrived we hit up the gift shop. Sammy could have spent the entire day examining and touching all the shiny, smooth, colored rocks. Jimmy being a major space/sci-fi geek loved the NASA Exhibit. I was enchanted by all the blown up images of space. I could have parked myself in front of them all day and stared, they were that breathtaking.

I cherish family time, it's everything to me.

2011-08-11T17:58:00.003-07:00

I pick Sammy up from school and as we are walking towards the car she looks up and with assertiveness shouts, "cookie icecream!" like I'm going to pull her request out of thin air. This is a common occurrence; Sammy shouting out random foods, objects, and places. Some of her favorites are cookie, pink lemonade, grandma's house, balloon, mail key, ect, ect. All of her requests are usually not near nor suggested, but for some reason she thinks I am a magician and can conjure up objects and places. I usually respond with, "Um Sammy you need to get real." which is literally what I say to her. She might as well go big like yacht, Japan, and unicorn.The kid never ceases to make me laugh.

Anyways.....

Sammy has become such a big helper. She loves to help me in the kitchen and relishes any task that is given to her. Her tasks are never difficult because I really don't want her to "work" until she's much older. I mean you only get one childhood and then the responsibilities and "real life" decisions start to pile up. Today Sammy was in charge of pouring all the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. She was so proud of herself and I'm certain it made the cookies taste even better.

p.s. Sammy's favorite spot to eat cookies is on top of the couch. Crumbs can be vacuumed, I've learned to pick my battles.

p.s.s. I picked up a new book it's called "The Help" I'm sure everyone has seen previews for the movie. I'm only three chapters in, but I'm already hooked. I am not an avid reader, I attribute this to all the ~~boring~~ reading that I'm forced to do for school. So for me to stay interested in a book is huge. This book is hard to put down because the author has thoughtfully created characters that will touch your heart. I am already becoming emotionally attached to a couple of them and find myself silently cheering them on.

Sammy...

2011-08-10T18:35:00.005-07:00

Dear Sammy,

It's strange to sit here on my laptop writing you a blog letter with you only a few inches away. The you right now has no clue that I'm documenting your every move, growth, and victories. You are currently carefree with only concerns of eating yummy sweets, cartoons, toys, wiggling, jumping, and being all around adorable. I think you will remember more of your childhood than I have because you have an incredible memory. It's almost a super power how your mind retains information and images. The other day as you were walking around the living room you stopped and said, "Outside! No, no Sammy no outside. Okay!" which is exactly what I say to you when we are staying in. You used such a disappointed tone of voice, that somehow you telling yourself no forced me to allow you outside to play. How did you do that? You are clever and astute to my emotions, it gets you what you want and I'm not sure if I should applaud a game well played or make myself more aware of your ingenuity. Either way you know you have both your daddy and I wrapped around your wicked and heavenly lil' finger.

People say that stay at home parents can't recognize when their children have gotten taller, but I must be the exception because I have taken note of every height increase. I wonder what your end height will be? As of now I can't imagine you tall because you're still so petite. I have been thinking about my future hopes for you. Some say that true happiness lies only in the simplicity of being alive and some have lists knowingly and unknowingly already written in the stars for their children. I have no list; but it doesn't mean that I will stop hoping that you experience as much of life as possible. You don't need to be able to drive a car, get married, or have children to achieve contentment with your life. Although, I think that those things and more enhance life. I suppose if you are not aware of what you're missing out on then life can be deeply gratifying. To sum up my babbling; you just existing will always be more than enough. You make your own path, call the shots, and anyone that comes into your life is sure to feel lucky to know you.

I love you and that love just keeps growing, it's already protruded out of my chest and I carry it with ample amounts of pride.

-Mama

Her first day back to school went like this...

2011-08-10T09:52:00.003-07:00

The drive to Sammy's school was quiet. Jimmy tried to make small talk, I heard bits and pieces of nerd speak about computer codes. Jimmy knows me and knew not to expect a response, because I was far too busy focusing on my breathing. Yes, I was super nervous even though my logical instincts assured me that Sammy would be fine. We arrive at Sammy's school and parked. Jimmy helps Sammy get out of the car and I put her new bumble bee backpack on her. I can tell she's excited. This time she doesn't need binkies or a bear, just her daddy's hand. I can feel it, that huge lump in my chest is slowly creeping it's way up to my throat. At first I walk behind them to get a picture and then run ahead to capture a picture of Sammy's facial expression as we get closer to her school. The walk up to her teacher and aide seem like forever and yet it also seemed too quick. The teacher and aide greet Sammy with excitement and Jimmy and I loosen our grips on her small delicate hands. Jimmy and I stand there feeling awkward because we can't seem to move, not willing to part with our baby girl. Finally after a few minutes pass we get the courage to part ways, we know Sammy is in good hands. As we walk away, my eyes begin to water up and before I could blink a fountain of tears are streaming down my face. Jimmy quickly puts his arms around me and sweetly reminds me that we must keep walking. We get halfway to our car when I do the one thing I know I shouldn't. I turn around to take another glance and see Sammy upset and crying. Thankfully Jimmy is there to keep me from going back. I look back once more to see Sammy holding her teacher's hand and walking happily away. I take a deep breathe, wipe the tears from my face, and confirm with Jimmy that we made a beautiful baby. Everything is going to be okay, now repeat those words.

The end.

p.s. I had to get my end of the world snuggles in before school, poor Sammy.

2011-08-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

One: Sammy just looked super snugly.

Two: Sammy adores her Schleich animals. They are really durable and painted with great detail to look like the real thing. She enjoys lining them up while singing Old McDonald.

Three: I'm loving her short hair.

Tomorrow is her official first day back to school!

2011-08-08T15:30:00.001-07:00

Sammy has inherited my love for all things miniature. I wish I could show you more of Sammy's little market and all the tiny things that go inside, but she didn't feel like sharing.

Tonight is Sammy's school open house. I'm starting to get that nervous feeling in my tummy. I keep telling myself that I have done this before. She will be fine, she loves school, it's good for her. I know that the first time I meet her new teacher I will come off as scary, over protective, and bold. I will bring in far too many snacks, heaven forbid Sammy starve in the 2 1/2 hours she is at school. I will try not to be a hot mess on her first day, but I know I'll cry.

I highly doubt that any first time parents (even super prepared ones) can fully understand what will happen within their hearts when their baby is born. Nothing will ever be the same (in a good way), time takes on a new meaning, perspectives on things you thought you were solid on may change, and the word "love" never sounded sweeter until it attached itself to your baby's name.

The stress never seems heavier than the beauty of being a parent.

2011-08-07T20:05:00.001-07:00

Saturday I pretty much wasted the day away and at night went out with a couple gal pals. I knew that not being productive on Saturday would lead to a busy Sunday. It was a busy day but in a fulfilling way. Grocery shopping, lots of homework, house chores, and cooking. For dinner I made a pot roast with baby carrots and mashed tators and for desert a homemade chocolate cake (Jimmy has a very happy belly). Of course True Blood was watched, I love that show. Now, I am enjoying the end of a perfect Sunday with my two favorite people.

Yup, Sunday was good to me and mine.

p.s. This is the chocolate cake recipe I used and it is delish!

This is making me happy

2011-08-07T00:21:00.001-07:00

My two favorite people

Friends that make me laugh so hard my face hurts

Sweet handmade love from a dear friend...thank you Kristen!

2011-08-04T13:39:00.002-07:00

Sammy and I have been keeping a low profile and trying our best to stay as cool as possible. It's been so hot and humid that even Sammy won't stay outdoors for very long. I found a new (to me) animation that Sammy really enjoys. It's called Harold and the purple crayon. Jimmy told me that he used to read the books when he was a kid. I think I may need to get Sammy the books now. It's just the perfect story line for Sammy, it's about a little boy who creates wonderful adventures with only his imagination and a purple crayon.

p.s. I think this Summer has been productive because of one huge goal that has been accomplished. Sammy is off her binky dependency! She hardly ever asks for it anymore and only gets them at bed time (which I think is time to stop as well). It's nice to go to public places and not have her sucking a binky and also rubbing one on her face for comfort. She is really showing a lot of "big girl" tendencies and all the new words that she has learned to say is enough to make this mama cry happy tears. It's like overnight Sammy decided she was going to be heard. Jimmy and I are so proud of her!

2011-07-31T13:27:00.005-07:00

So I just donated 14 inches of my beloved hair to Locks of Love!!!!!! Eeek!!!! I now have a new short and sassy look happening!! Plus, it's soooo much cooler not lugging around 14 inches of thick hair.